Guess who taught himself how to open the rice cooker and woke me up by screaming in between mouthfuls of hot rice
jbird + numbers
@jbird5016658
howdy yall. i really like bionicles, king of the hill, and art. but that last one doesn't have a tag.
usa 22 any pronouns
artist: holly warburton
they should have steroid friendly sports events
op do i ever have news for you
they should also let contestants use drugs on each other during events, Mario Kart style. 150m hurdle but you also have to dodge tranq darts and hallucinogenic smoke grenades
Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*
a small rhythmic motion: is happening
us for 6 million years and counting: talented brilliant showstopping incredible
Anonymous asked:
YOU are a neurotypical cisgender woman. going about with your latte and such
aliceavizandum answered:
[obediently] I am a neurotypical cisgender woman. Going about with my latte and such
ALT
the bros only one click away
RIP to this blog that made this singular post and then deleted
Home lessons in massage.
touch his tits tuesday
hey patrick can you see my feet
Yeah spongebob look at mine I’m facing the toilet
Patrick we have penises and were peeing with them
Excuse me ladies, everything you’ve just said about being spongbeob and Patrick and having penises you pee pee with has been echoed and amplified down the hall, were we are holding a Sunday school class. We all have heard what you’ve said about peeing towards the toilet with your penises, and I am just letting you know.
two characters who understand each other like no one else does and therefore hurt each other like no one else can
i'm being so fucking normal about the imaginary people that i made up in my head
literally the only website on earth where this does numbers
ALTplease no one disturb me I am doing important research on wikipedia dot com today
ALTI see I've released a new word into the tumblr ecosystem, glad we're all being totally normal about it <3
and I am sooo sorry, it is wikipedia dot org actually
how I sit after telling a waiter who apologised for delayed order that it's no rush and I can wait
“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?
"In the same way your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." - Brennan Lee Mulligan, Fantasy High S1E17